Regretful days, straight moments

Breaking off into your own chain of mistakes is a dread that comes at its own cost, when the night strikes after you’ve done everything, sometimes all you can do is wait it out. We make mistakes for the reason of trying, whatever it is that you were trying to do, you tried. If the event went sour and the clean mistake that happened broke everything, then the only thing left to do is go to the next day, we don’t know what the next day will be, but you know it’s there, and you can repeat yourself but this time succeed. I’m not writing this as a motivational speech, i’m writing this because mistakes get made, and to treat them as if they didn’t happen would be a shame.

If I were to ask you how many regrets you have, maybe you’d say you have none; that’s never true. The passion of repetition takes you for a reason, you can look it however you want, but if it’s not right the first time, you’d probably hope that it wasn’t like that. But many regrets are coincidental, when you can’t control what happens it sometimes makes things better. After all, if you have an understanding boss, that file you were supposed to mail last week, the one that got lost, can just make you more time. You might regret that you hadn’t sent it earlier, but all you can say to yourself is ‘Phew, it’s not my fault this time’.

Childhood is full of regrets, it’s the point of your life in which you can look back and laugh at the mistakes and errors of your first few chapters. The first few regrets that you create are the most simplistic and innocent ones, remember wearing that t shirt that says ‘Frankie says relax’? So do I, with childhood comes the moments that everything seems in line. And to make a mistake feels as if the entire world has broken over your shoulders. As we all get older we all realise what’s important and what’s not, the clock gave us the best perspective, it also some the worst judgement. When it comes to making regrets throughout adolescence, many will think of how they were rejected by that person that made them see everything else without them,others will think of how they weren’t nice enough to the kids that liked something else. But with every regret that is made, so is a new outlook, good or bad, it’s still another way to think.

 

Yours sincerely

D.J Caller

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Daily drawbacks as a mundane mishap

Day by day in everything you do a task will have an issue, tricky or not. Just the sheer effort of attempting to figure out the problem can be enough to send you out of your way to quit what it is that you are doing. I find myself in this position often, and as I can imagine, you can too, unless you do a different things everyday the mundane bleak task of having to fix a different problem is a true issue amongst the daily worker.

One drawback I caught myself in today was having to try and manage my time, and still have a part of the evening where I could take a shower. My day was contained with the everyday issues of having to run around in attempt to fix past issues that I will admit was my own wrongdoing. But throughout every task a different boring issue tried to stop me in my tracks. But in dealing with this I ask why do they make everything so much worse? After all, they are just part of the task anyway, but the daily drawbacks seem to make me want to throw myself out of a 50ft window. And although as i’m writing this I can say i still haven’t taken a shower (the night will wear on..). This just shows how the little parts of a day can stop your main ambition.

Everyone will always say that the little things are what counts, well it seems to be true in terms of things that make your day worse. When any little inconsistency will make you feel like Hell, everything will seem worse. But as the days go on coming to terms with these problems seem to be mandatory.  I couldn’t tell you I enjoy them, but for me and others sometimes not dealing with anything can become almost unusual, without the stress it’s like everything isn’t real. The emotions and thoughts that arrive in your head will flood you until eventually everything is finished, and the only thing left to do is return to the bedroom where you’ll wait another eight hours until the next chore.

Daily issues come and go, without them things would be easier, with them things are just normal.

Yours sincerely

 

D.J Caller

 

Memories

Every day we remember things, good or bad, we remember them in a way that only you will see.Remembering something differently has always been a struggle, I remember meeting my friends and looking back at past moments, the only issue is we all saw them from a different view, although certain that I was correct, I could never bet my life on it, given that everyone else who remembers it was there.

Bad memories that involve you being the bad guy give the type of pain that you would feel only when your mother is disappointed, the sensation of the mistake that hurt either yourself and others is something we can all recollect to. Although you could say that with these memories comes to blessing of not making the same mistake twice, i’ve always found myself too invested in my own issue not to think about this, selfish as that may be. Bad memories will always be around in life, some make peoples relationships stronger, some cause a day wasted, some result in an everlasting life decision that you will never regret (still on waiting for that one to come around).

Every day a memory is made, one recent memory I  hope to never recall (after this at least) is how I managed to simultaneously walk into a vacuum cleaner, whilst holding coffee, shirtless. Although I would love to talk about my mistake, I say this because it shows just how everything you do is recorded, wether you like it or not, I particularly would like to forget my previous mentions, although the red mark reaching across my back seems to say otherwise.Although in mentioning this it does make me think, what stops a person from doing something in order to not create a  bad memory? One example that springs to mind is my everlasting fear of asking a girl out. This has always been a fear because the sheer memory of her rejecting me would be enough to send my ambitions through the earth, and to the fiery pit that is my love life.

But to continue complaining about my own issues would be a tragedy, throughout time memories will continue to be created. Recorded by some and forgotten by others. History will always tell us the past as if the person telling you it was there. Reading a book can tell you more from somebodies past, as each page you turn gives you a further insight on to their style and if they wrote about it, their own life. Looking into someone else’s memories I always found was more interesting, i’m sure many will agree, after all if you are reading this then you are essentially playing to what I said. This is possibly because of the human interest in learning, something we all have, but something not everyone uses.

Memories will always have a role in time, as without them nothing can ever be gained. To some they’re the reason to continue working, to others they’re the reason to stop in motion.

 

Yours sincerely

D.J Caller.

 

Superiority

Competition to many is the line between being good and being a champion, to others it’s the passion and sportsmanship that drives them to finish, or better yet win. It’s from the passion, or view of the fine line, that leads to the view that creeps over your passion, superiority. Superiority has lead many people to gain what they want, by losing what they love, it’s the difference that puts you between being ‘above’ everyone, and ‘with everyone else’.

Throughout my life i’ve met many people that wanted to, or felt, that they have gained the upper hand in life over me, leading them to try and order me around. Some of these people I can say I was happy to follow, others I felt patronised and as if they were just insults on my conscience. Although this was never to say I felt above them myself, but to have somebody that felt above me to the extent that they could treat me like there protege, was never a ‘smart move’. I particularly remember one person actually correcting me on spelling, and scoffing at my grammar, as someone that enjoys writing as much as I do, I quickly looked at my written word, only to realised I had used the correct version of ‘stationary’, as the car was not in fact moving.

Although, many people will find themselves superior, in an attempt to help people, to these people I could never find myself angry with. Although annoyed, if they were truly trying to offer their time to me, how could I be angry? But some will do it for the sake of feeling better about themselves, after all, to many helping someone is better than not helping, no matter the cost of your opinion of them. Again being angry with these people will only make you worse, as you’re rejecting somebodies good nature, nobody wants to be that person;

From writing this, I do beg the question how do people feel are superior? Many deem themselves this way because they are generally smarter that others when compared academically. Others because of their physical strength, after all, being able to do forty five pushups does make you an automatic leader. To be truthful, I was saw superiority as something that only ever played a role in whatever field that the task was in, unless you are truly the greatest of all time in your work, there will always be someone that can guide you a step further with what you are doing. But this will never mean that the person guiding you is better at everything you do, maybe a few things, but never everything. And when I do come across the people that truly believe they are better at everything, it’s more enjoyable as I realise that they must think this way to make themselves look above someone that never said they were better in the first place, the only fool is the ‘genius’.

It’s at times like this I come to realise that sometimes being patronising can also mean that you are being small minded. The best don’t come in two’s for a reason.

Yours sincerely,

D.J Caller

 

 

Summer Days

After writing my last post, I looked back and reflected to my life growing up, how I became who am, who i’ll be later on, and who i’ll meet tomorrow. This reminded me of the days of Summer where meeting your friends was the pinnacle of everything, school was over, life began. I remember meeting my friends at a small stream where we could cool down and live in the heat. With nothing but a small speaker and a towel everything seemed to be perfection, the only thing to stop us was the rain that guided us back to somebodies house, nothing could try and stop us.

Sumer seemed to be the time where spending time with everyone seemed essential, we were adamant to go home; taking the first steps home meant that the fun was over, if we could have stayed out forever we would have. But this didn’t mean that the Summer was perfect, learning seemed to follow us even after we had ditched school for the next 6 weeks. Arguing had become more common, as seeing everyone every day would teach us the annoying quirks of other people that we once appreciated, but now resented. By the end of the Summer’s school seemed almost wanted, although this quickly became a  regret around one week into school.

As Summer would end we would attempt to keep to the same patterns, in two degree weather we would stand at the same field and talk as if nothing was the problem. But we knew that the days would be over, this just meant that we would have to find someone’s house. But when we weren’t allowed in, the night’s cold would take us for all we were worth, the frost growing on our chins as the swings swung steadily through the chilly air.

Once spring rolled around, we treated it like Summer, it was Summer. Coats were out, and sunglasses had arrived once again, even if the clouds had overshadowed us. It was inevitable that Summer would come around, just as it was inevitable that it would end. But whatever the case the memories gave us something that we couldn’t find anywhere else. As the hot air beat on our necks whilst we ran across the fields shouting at one another insults,playing tricks with their conscience yet also making them laugh. Summer was a time, but everything else was a moment.

 

Yours sincerely

D.J Caller

The First Chapter

The first time of anything is trouble, the fear that comes from it can be enough to throw anyone off their talent. The only difference though is that if you continue doing something long enough then eventually the first time will be one of the most important moments. It’s the moment that you began something you love. I love writing. I couldn’t tell you i’m afraid to write this post because if i didn’t I’d be more scared I had no talent.

If you have found yourself here around the time of when it was written, congrats, you’re probably one of the first people to read my work, I hope you like it, i’d give you an opinion of my work but you probably won’t know who gave the opinion.

It’s a rare moment when you decide to start something like this, it’s a rare moment when you decide to start anything. Even the ‘go getters’ will have a point in which they won’t try something. Fear will drive you to begin many things though, wether it’s jumping out of a plane, or asking the girl you’ve dreamed about because of the fear of living without anybody is enough to make you do it (if you stick around long enough maybe I’ll tell you a personal account).

But whatever the case, sometimes you need to begin something, so that when you end it, you know that it was worth doing, or maybe it wasn’t.

We’ve all debated beginning things, so why don’t we all do follow through? As I said fear can drive anyone to do anything, it’s the one emotion that will make you crazy enough to try whatever’s needed. But also many won’t start something out of laziness; The couch is a better friend than the keyboard, after all, the average keyboard has 101 keys, the tv remote only has around 20-30. But the lazy ones aren’t the ones I would say are the worst.

The worst to me will always be the ones that give excuses, we’ve all met the one that says they want to start, but don’t have time. Shame. Starting something is hard, but keeping to it is harder. To say you want to start is the equivalent to me saying I want to go to the store, but can’t go as I don’t have my car, even though it’s 5 minutes away. Everything is five minutes away once you’ve started, just sometimes the walk is harder.

This isn’t an inspirational article though, I couldn’t tell you i think i’m better than anyone for starting this post because I’m not. I do this for enjoyment, it’s my television, it’s my late night drink. Writing that is. Speaking of late night drinks stick around, there’s always a story worth telling there.

This was my first post, hoped you all liked it , leave a comment if you’d like, i’m always open to criticism. After all improvements are one of the only things that can’t leave you.

Yours sincerely

D.J Caller