Dying on the road, long distance memories

I remember travelling at a young age, it seemed magnificent to move at such a great speed to take us to wherever we were going. When we would be in the car for eight hours it never seemed bland, the thought of where’d i’d later be, and the thought of where I was right now was always a great passage of time. One fond memory was the car sickness. I grew up to be a fairly tall person, not huge, but tall enough, one of the many things that would come from this was my appetite, I remember just as I began growing properly I ate more than I had ever before. As I mentioned earlier car sickness would come with these travels, one particular moment was when just as I had finished eight banana’s, two oranges, and a tuna sandwich picked up at a gas station. I felt the urge to see my past meal, and in opening the car window, the side of my car would see it too. Our car looked good in that shade of orange-yellow. Car journeys weren’t forgettable.

In every car journey the sleeping aspect was always something worth mentioning before me and my family would leave the house with pillows, blankets, and whatever looked soft enough to shut me up for the next few hours. Although the soft yet firm feeling of the pillow would tempt my slumber, it seemed to be my own shoulder that would act as my guide into dreaming. It was a rare moment that I wouldn’t fall asleep in the car when I was young, after all, is there anything more entertaining than ones own dreams? Dreaming doesn’t come naturally to everybody, but when one does dream and remembers it, you must talk about it, unless it’s one that you detest for the sake of your own self-respect. But as I would fall asleep in the car I would always wonder how my parents would stay awake for as long as they did,

Looking out of the window was a forgettable experience that will always be remembered. As the car races past fields and rivers, I rarely would want to stop by and see them properly, yet I would always watch whatever we pass. Maybe it was the sheer boredom, maybe it was the fact that seeing a cow was interesting (growing up in a town after all).  But when the windows would come open I remember putting my head out the window and feeling the hard brisk air bounce itself off of my head, I could be anything I wanted to when my head was out of that window, although I wouldn’t be whoever I was for long due to the protest of my parents to put my head back in. When I said earlier that I often fell asleep often; one memory from my teens is that I was wearing sunglass and fell asleep, just as my mother and I pulled up next to a group of girls, I remember one putting her hand on my cheek in an attempt to take my sunglasses, it made my mother laugh watching her take them, she failed in taking them and I woke screaming then laughing at the look of the girl as she quickly retreated her hand.  Car journeys are an adventure in themselves, the memories couldn’t be forgotten even if we wanted to forget them.

 

Yours sincerely,

D.J Caller

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Memories

Every day we remember things, good or bad, we remember them in a way that only you will see.Remembering something differently has always been a struggle, I remember meeting my friends and looking back at past moments, the only issue is we all saw them from a different view, although certain that I was correct, I could never bet my life on it, given that everyone else who remembers it was there.

Bad memories that involve you being the bad guy give the type of pain that you would feel only when your mother is disappointed, the sensation of the mistake that hurt either yourself and others is something we can all recollect to. Although you could say that with these memories comes to blessing of not making the same mistake twice, i’ve always found myself too invested in my own issue not to think about this, selfish as that may be. Bad memories will always be around in life, some make peoples relationships stronger, some cause a day wasted, some result in an everlasting life decision that you will never regret (still on waiting for that one to come around).

Every day a memory is made, one recent memory I  hope to never recall (after this at least) is how I managed to simultaneously walk into a vacuum cleaner, whilst holding coffee, shirtless. Although I would love to talk about my mistake, I say this because it shows just how everything you do is recorded, wether you like it or not, I particularly would like to forget my previous mentions, although the red mark reaching across my back seems to say otherwise.Although in mentioning this it does make me think, what stops a person from doing something in order to not create a  bad memory? One example that springs to mind is my everlasting fear of asking a girl out. This has always been a fear because the sheer memory of her rejecting me would be enough to send my ambitions through the earth, and to the fiery pit that is my love life.

But to continue complaining about my own issues would be a tragedy, throughout time memories will continue to be created. Recorded by some and forgotten by others. History will always tell us the past as if the person telling you it was there. Reading a book can tell you more from somebodies past, as each page you turn gives you a further insight on to their style and if they wrote about it, their own life. Looking into someone else’s memories I always found was more interesting, i’m sure many will agree, after all if you are reading this then you are essentially playing to what I said. This is possibly because of the human interest in learning, something we all have, but something not everyone uses.

Memories will always have a role in time, as without them nothing can ever be gained. To some they’re the reason to continue working, to others they’re the reason to stop in motion.

 

Yours sincerely

D.J Caller.

 

Superiority

Competition to many is the line between being good and being a champion, to others it’s the passion and sportsmanship that drives them to finish, or better yet win. It’s from the passion, or view of the fine line, that leads to the view that creeps over your passion, superiority. Superiority has lead many people to gain what they want, by losing what they love, it’s the difference that puts you between being ‘above’ everyone, and ‘with everyone else’.

Throughout my life i’ve met many people that wanted to, or felt, that they have gained the upper hand in life over me, leading them to try and order me around. Some of these people I can say I was happy to follow, others I felt patronised and as if they were just insults on my conscience. Although this was never to say I felt above them myself, but to have somebody that felt above me to the extent that they could treat me like there protege, was never a ‘smart move’. I particularly remember one person actually correcting me on spelling, and scoffing at my grammar, as someone that enjoys writing as much as I do, I quickly looked at my written word, only to realised I had used the correct version of ‘stationary’, as the car was not in fact moving.

Although, many people will find themselves superior, in an attempt to help people, to these people I could never find myself angry with. Although annoyed, if they were truly trying to offer their time to me, how could I be angry? But some will do it for the sake of feeling better about themselves, after all, to many helping someone is better than not helping, no matter the cost of your opinion of them. Again being angry with these people will only make you worse, as you’re rejecting somebodies good nature, nobody wants to be that person;

From writing this, I do beg the question how do people feel are superior? Many deem themselves this way because they are generally smarter that others when compared academically. Others because of their physical strength, after all, being able to do forty five pushups does make you an automatic leader. To be truthful, I was saw superiority as something that only ever played a role in whatever field that the task was in, unless you are truly the greatest of all time in your work, there will always be someone that can guide you a step further with what you are doing. But this will never mean that the person guiding you is better at everything you do, maybe a few things, but never everything. And when I do come across the people that truly believe they are better at everything, it’s more enjoyable as I realise that they must think this way to make themselves look above someone that never said they were better in the first place, the only fool is the ‘genius’.

It’s at times like this I come to realise that sometimes being patronising can also mean that you are being small minded. The best don’t come in two’s for a reason.

Yours sincerely,

D.J Caller

 

 

Summer Days

After writing my last post, I looked back and reflected to my life growing up, how I became who am, who i’ll be later on, and who i’ll meet tomorrow. This reminded me of the days of Summer where meeting your friends was the pinnacle of everything, school was over, life began. I remember meeting my friends at a small stream where we could cool down and live in the heat. With nothing but a small speaker and a towel everything seemed to be perfection, the only thing to stop us was the rain that guided us back to somebodies house, nothing could try and stop us.

Sumer seemed to be the time where spending time with everyone seemed essential, we were adamant to go home; taking the first steps home meant that the fun was over, if we could have stayed out forever we would have. But this didn’t mean that the Summer was perfect, learning seemed to follow us even after we had ditched school for the next 6 weeks. Arguing had become more common, as seeing everyone every day would teach us the annoying quirks of other people that we once appreciated, but now resented. By the end of the Summer’s school seemed almost wanted, although this quickly became a  regret around one week into school.

As Summer would end we would attempt to keep to the same patterns, in two degree weather we would stand at the same field and talk as if nothing was the problem. But we knew that the days would be over, this just meant that we would have to find someone’s house. But when we weren’t allowed in, the night’s cold would take us for all we were worth, the frost growing on our chins as the swings swung steadily through the chilly air.

Once spring rolled around, we treated it like Summer, it was Summer. Coats were out, and sunglasses had arrived once again, even if the clouds had overshadowed us. It was inevitable that Summer would come around, just as it was inevitable that it would end. But whatever the case the memories gave us something that we couldn’t find anywhere else. As the hot air beat on our necks whilst we ran across the fields shouting at one another insults,playing tricks with their conscience yet also making them laugh. Summer was a time, but everything else was a moment.

 

Yours sincerely

D.J Caller

Boredom

I’ve spent many days waiting for the clock to return back to twelve, the next day after all gives you new expectations. But boredom comes when you least expect it, wether you’re optimistic about the next day or not, it’s just another ‘sensation’ that reeks itself over you and drives you to do nothing, but expect yourself to do everything.

I’ve spent weeks where I’ve met the same people and done the same things, but why I ask myself do I continue doing it? Is it the feeling that I have to? Must I spend every minute with people that I might not know in ten years. I don’t have to. I know this. But being without somebody Is just as frustrating, after all when you’re bored with friends, at least you can be bored together. But growing up in a town boredom was a regular pattern to my lifestyle, there was nowhere for anyone to go, the movie theatre was the only place we ever spent much time in. But paying £7 Regularly was a struggle, we felt as if we were miners caught in a depression.

Money as you can guess was the other issue, boredom doesn’t come at a price, neither does happiness, although the ‘premium edition’ does. I remember us trying to scrape together bits of change in an attempt to buy a burger from McDonalds, (I personally didn’t want it, I just owed the guy). That was a single time though, we generally weren’t that bad. But as I said living in a town doing anything entertaining would cost a sizeable fee, at least to a teenager. And when you were caught in a world that made you want more, your bank account played the limit instead of ambitions; This wasn’t to say I wasn’t grateful, but in terms of entertainment money would be an issue.

But even on my most mundane day the sun would still shine, this did let us combat our tedious weekends, sometimes a ball would be the key to the best day of the month. If watching television with you’re friends gave you some form of amusement, then playing football on a field can be the greatest thing ever, the sun showering your soul as the only thing stopping your enjoyment is the moon. But even when that was the case moonlight can create the Summer night that you never forgot, as the night darkens and the heat goes down, you split back to your houses, only to return the next day to repeat it again.

Boredoms comes at no price, but sometimes the best things won’t need a price anyway.

Hope you enjoyed reading.

Yours sincerely,

D.J Caller.